


Hollow

by KaytiKitty



Series: Sanders Songfics [2]
Category: Cartoon Therapy (Web Series), Icon For Hire (Band), Sanders Sides (Web Series), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Gen, Icon for Hire - Hollow, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-29
Updated: 2019-10-29
Packaged: 2021-01-08 07:10:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21231833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaytiKitty/pseuds/KaytiKitty
Summary: The moment I saw the video for Hollow by Icon for Hire I immediately thought of Emile and tada this is born!Sometimes everyone needs to have a breakdown to put their pieces back together. Emile is no exception.





	Hollow

**Author's Note:**

> Please go check out Icon for Hire kn YouTube their songs are the best!

_ I don't wanna break down, but I'm feeling low _

_ Let me sink to the bottom  _

Emile had his head tucked between his legs, breathing harsh as his mind raced to catch up with his own thoughts. 

_ Air in my lungs keeping me afloat _

_ Inside I'm still  _

_ H O L  _ _ L O W _

Remy sat on a chair across the room from him, studying him. Noting every shaky breath and sporadic movement. Taking in the way Emule had withdrawn so far within himself that he appeared to be a shell. Waiting for Emule to speak to spill his soul into the air 

_ I know I'm not my thoughts _

_ But my thoughts don't know that yet _

Emile screamed loudly. Every thought and feeling meeting at the back of his throat and producing an inhuman sound that came more from the demon in his mind than Emile himself. 

_ Sometimes I try to sneak up _

_ On the voice inside my head _

Without much thought Emile lashed out, wiping the magazines straight off the table and sending them flying across the room. Remy raised an eyebrow but his pen didn't stop moving across the page. Recording every single broken moment Emile hated to have. 

_ I try to meditate, cause they told me it'll help _

_ But the last thing I need is more time alone  _

_ Inside myself  _

Remy hummed in acknowledgment as Emile had his break down. Angered screams accompanied the sounds of items being thrown.

_ I know I'm not unique,  _

_ we all got broken brains _

_ Culture recently decided being crazy is okay _

_ And now we all can talk about it on our _

_ social feeds _

In an extreme burst of anger Emile swiped his phone off the table and slammed it against the wall until the cracked screen shattered to the floor in small pieces. 

_ Having a rough day? _

_ Hashtag Mental Health Awareness Week _

_ _ Emile clenched his fist and sobbed into the wall, banging bruised fists against it in a rough pattern. 

_ I know that's progress _

_ We don't have to hide no more _

Remy twirled his pen and called Emile back to his seat with a soft tone, a comforting smile on his lips. "Tell me more," He coaxed. 

_ But it leaves me wondering why  _

_ we ain't said this stuff before _

Emile began to scream his thoughts once more, flailing his limbs with pent up raging energy.

_ Like were we always all crazy _

_ and we all just kept quiet? _

Remy nodded along, a grim set to his face and a wise look in his eye. He understood where Emile was coming from. The pen met the page again. 

_ Are we on the same page  _

_ with what we're identifying? _

Strokes of ink spread across the white paper like thoughts scattering from the pen as if it were Emile's mind. As if it had any reason to be on it's knees crying in front of a therapist. 

_ And if crazy's the new normal then it's not  _

_ that crazy, is it? _

Emile couldn't keep it in for much longer, sending his foot striking out with all the force he could create. The coffee table flipped and the mug of hot chocolate shattered, staining the white carpet. 

_ Cause the word by definition means it sits  _

_ outside the system _

Remy glanced at the mess and tilted his head, debating the best course of action. Emile needed to have a breakdown, in fact it was long overdue, so Remy bit his tongue as Emile stood stiff. The pen once again began it's strokes. 

_ And how can we tell difference between sick and tryna' fit in? _

Emile took the silence as challenge and he yelled, throwing the closet object with all his might at the doorway. The pillow hit the door harmlessly and bounced away. Emile felt irritation at the anticlimactic end, the need to shatter and fracture and break propelling him forward. 

_ If everybody's crazy,  _

_ then who's supposed to fix it? _

Remy took the pen away from the page to watch as Emile ripped books from the bookshelf and tore the pages from the spine. 

_ No one told me it could get this bad _

_ this fast _

Emile clutched his hands in his hair, pulling, desperately trying to RIP away the overwhelming thoughts. 

_ Guess we only hear about the struggle _

_ after its passed _

Remy calmly removed his hands from his hair, untangling his fingers. Emile dug his fingernails into Remy's palm, eyes wide and with anguish clear as day. 

_ Good to know I'm not alone _

_ But if I'm really being honest _

_ _ He paused to take deep breaths before yanking himself away from Remy and stalking back to the seating area. He hesitated and met Remy's eyes, then without moving his gaze he placed his foot on the chair and sent it tumbling. 

_ I kinda hope there's something wrong with me _

_ I kinda hope this isn't how it's supposed to be _

Remy closed his eyes with a sigh. Emile deserved a breakdown and so Remy scooped his pen up from the floor and proceeded to let the ink glide across the paper forming the familiar shape. 

_ I pray to god it's not normal _

_ Crying on the floor _

Emile screamed once more before dropping to his knees. Head buried in his hands. Breaths coming out as shaky sobs. Anger faded to exhaustion and before long the red-rimmed eyes were full of tears instead of rage. 

_ I don't wanna do this anymore _

"Dr. Picani? Are you listening?" Emile snapped out of his trance at the words and glanced up a smile automatically slipping into place. 

"I'm sorry, Elliot, can you please repeat what you just said?" Emile let himself go, falling into therapist mode while his patient repeated what they had said. His finger traced the lines of his face that had been drawn onto the first page of his notepad with his own pen by Remy while Emile had broke down into tears. 

_ I don't wanna break down _

_ So where do I go? _

_ My screams sink to the bottom _

_ Top of my lungs, just an echo _

_ It's like I'm still _

_ H O L _ _ L O W _


End file.
